


Will It Be Yes or Will it Be...Sorry?

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance, post-episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-19
Updated: 2011-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-24 18:51:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/266710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He watched her go from a nervous starling to his right hand woman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will It Be Yes or Will it Be...Sorry?

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS FOR Birthright. Written for the prompt move on. This one has been in my head for a while and I wondered what to do with it.

“I've been served.” Hotch said.

The room fell silent. There were still agents and activities going on around them but the six people standing in that loose semi-circle did not move a muscle. With a heavy sigh, Hotch pushed through the doors and walked away. They all came back to life, each one slowly turning to Emily Prentiss as if she had the magic solution to make it all better.

Why her? Shouldn’t it be Rossi, who surely had experience in that department? JJ might be better; she was the comforter of the group. Morgan or Reid might not be the best idea but they loved him too and wanted to help. Emily shook her head and took off after him.

“He took the stairs!” Morgan shouted after her.

She jogged past the elevator and to the end of the hall to the fire exit. The Behavioral Analysis Unit was on the 24th floor; it was a long way down. She walked into the stairwell, peering over the side to see how far he got. He looked to be about six flights down.

“Hotch!”

“Not now, Prentiss.”

“Please stop.” she started down after him. She fully expected Hotch to take off and she silently thanked the Goddess of Shoes that she changed into her comfortable Cloudwalkers for the flight home.

Down and down she went, nearly running over him about eight flights in. Emily went backward and fell onto the stairs ass first.

“Ouch.” She rubbed her tailbone.

“Sorry.” Hotch muttered an apology.

“It’s alright. I didn’t expect you to stop.”

“I don’t know why I did. I don’t have the strength to move anymore.”

“Hotch…”

“Don’t,” he held up his hand.

“I'm not going to feel sorry for you. What I mean is…”

“I know what you mean.” His tone was snappish.

“You don’t know what I mean, let me finish please.”

He nodded, not saying anything more.

“I don’t know what you're going through right now. I can guess, but it would probably be wrong. You don’t exactly walk around with your thoughts and feelings on your sleeve. That’s OK, you know. I just…you are not going to hurt alone. I won't let that happen.”

He almost asked her why she cared but Hotch bit back the words. They were cruel, and he knew why she cared. Emily Prentiss was that kind of person. When a friend was in need, she was going to be there. She went to hell and back for those she loved. Her teammates could always depend on her out in the field as well as with personal things.

She was easy to talk to, could keep a secret to her grave, and had the knack for making people feel better. Hotch didn’t know these things from experience…he knew from observation. He observed Emily more than he cared to think about. He watched her go from a nervous starling to his right hand woman. Almost the last to join the team, she was quickly becoming the glue that held it together.

“I just need to be alone tonight.” Hotch said.

“I think that’s the last thing you need. You don’t have to talk to me about your personal life; they call it personal for a reason. Still, if you walk away you will never know my secret cure all for bad days.”

“Prentiss…”

“I won't push,” she stood from the step, brushing past him to head for the door. Damn the walk…she would take the elevator down. “But I'm here.”

He wanted her there. He wanted her cure all. He wanted her in his arms and in his bed and actually, he wanted her out of his mind. Maybe he was out of his mind, which would be the only explanation as to Emily Prentiss going from a member of his team to the star of his dreams damn near every night. He didn't know how he managed not to burst and tell her everything. They were so close yet millions of miles apart.

“OK.” Hotch said, stopping her with her hand on the knob. “What's this cure all?”

“It’s a secret.” She turned to him and smiled. “You have to come with me.”

“Where?”

“You have to stop asking questions.”

Hotch fought the smile curling around his mouth. He slipped the papers into his travel bag.

“You're in charge.” He replied.

“Yes, I'm in charge. Take my hand.”

He did and she led him through the door and to the elevator. When they got to the lobby and she slipped out of his hold, Hotch felt cold. He took a deep breath, following her outside after they signed out. They did not speak as they headed to her FBI issued SUV. She threw their travel bags into the trunk and Hotch climbed into the passenger seat.

“I don't like not knowing where we’re headed.” He said.

“You’re safe Hotch,” she grinned. “I know its hard, but let go.”

“Of what?”

“Everything.”

He nodded, knowing it was impossible and wishing it was not. She started the car and the voice of Chrissie Hynde greeted them. Emily turned the music down as she pulled out of the lot and headed off down the road. Many things were going through his mind, words he wanted to say, questions he wanted to ask, but Hotch remained silent. He knew this music so he just listened.

Their first stop was the Arby’s drive thru. She ordered two Super roast beef sandwiches, two orders of curly fries, and two medium chocolate shakes. Hotch took out his wallet as they pulled up to the window. The look on Emily’s face told him it was a bad idea so he put it back. There was no need to start this adventure, wherever he would end up, on the wrong foot.

“Reflex.” He mumbled as she drove off.

“I know; I like that about you.”

“What?”

“That your reflex is to be a gentleman. It’s a lost cause for a lot of men.”

“It shouldn’t be.”

“I know that.”

***

“Tom Cruise’s wife cries a lot. You know what, she doesn’t actually cry, she just almost cries. This is the third episode I am watching and about the ninth time she is almost crying. Poor kid. Is it alright that I don’t like the blonde boy? I think he has major Unsub potential with all of those repressed feelings. Hell, they are all a bundle of repressed feelings.”

Emily looked at Hotch and laughed. He raised an eyebrow and that only made her laugh more. They were in her condo, relaxing on the floor, leaning on the couch, and watching _Dawson’s Creek_ Season 2. Fast food bags were scattered around them and Hotch still sipped on his shake. Emily introduced him to her adopted Abyssinian cat, George, who had been sitting in his lap for the past hour.

“Do you remember what you were like at 16, Hotch?” Emily asked.

“I try to forget every day.”

“Exactly. Nerves, emotions, pain, love, pressure…its all there. Plus the extra-added soap opera drama. Do you see why I love this. It makes my life seem so simplistic.”

“Its just I know that something is up with Jack, and poor Joey will be heartbroken. She is always the heartbroken one. Then she’ll probably end of with Dawson again…I don’t like Dawson.”

“She doesn’t end up with Dawson.” Emily replied.

“Who then? Are they going to introduce a new character?”

Emily shook her head.

“C'mon, tell me.”

“You liked to be spoiled?”

“Yes.” Hotch replied with a straight face.

“Pacey.”

“Pacey? The underachieving, slacker best friend? Are you serious?”

“Senior year.”

“Oh my God, Dawson must lose it.”

“Yeah.”

“Pacey and Joey, it doesn’t seem…they have little to nothing in common.”

“He grows up.” Emily said. “Not a hell of a lot, but enough. Andie leaves for early admission to Harvard and he just matures. He still makes a lot of mistakes but he loves Joey so much.”

“Andie looks like my ex-wife. I don’t like her.”

“Hotch,” Emily laughed, though she didn’t mean to. It was just the way he said it, casual, like observing the weather. It was the first time Haley came up since they settled in so that was saying something.

“I feel bad for what she is going through but her character is whiny. Maybe she should end up with Dawson. Jen is too sophisticated and wordly for him. I was thinking she and Pacey, but I guess I was wrong.”

“They’re just good friends. They tried friends with benefits for a while. Regular friends worked out better.”

“There is something to be said for good friends.” Hotch said, looking at her.

Emily smiled, her eyes downcast so he could not read them. She knew he could always read her eyes and that frightened her.

“So, which one of these characters do you identify with?” he asked. “I know that’s what people do with their favorite show…they find the character they most see themselves in.”

“I think you're profiling me.” Emily replied.

“That was not my intent. No work tonight, it’s just a question. You don’t have to answer, Emily, I'm sorry.”

It was rare that he called her Emily. She was always Prentiss; it was always impersonal. Impersonal was difficult though when you were sitting on the floor of someone’s living room, relaxed, petting their cat and watching TV with them. She liked the sound of it on his lips.

“Joey. I'm a total Joey girl who wants to be Jen.”

“The slutty one?” Hotch asked.

“She is not…OK, sometimes she is. She just doesn’t know her way yet. She doesn’t know how to express her anger, fear, and anxiety safely. She only knows self-harm. It's not the kind visible to the naked eye, like cuts and burns. It hurts the most on the inside. That’s why it takes so long for someone to reach out and help.”

Emily cleared her throat and sipped her milkshake. Oh God, she was Jen. She had shades of Joey, everyone did, but at 16 she was Jen Lindley to a tee. Dear God, she was practically Jen at 37.

“Pacey and Joey…I'm still reeling over that.” Hotch said, shaking his head.

“Cope.”

He laughed. It started off small and for some reason it just grew until Hotch was falling over laughing. The gaiety caught Emily; soon she was laughing just as hard, tears brimmed in her eyes as they just let go. Three hours into _Dawson’s Creek_ , they finally let go. Hotch’s head fell back on the couch as he got control of himself.

“You're amazing,” he said breathlessly.

“What?”

“You're amazing. I mean I always knew but…I don’t think I have all the words. And if something happened tonight I know you would think I was just rebounding from Andie McPhee, as I'm sure poor Joey did the first time Pacey kissed her.”

“What?”

Hotch just shook his head, taking Emily’s face in his hands and kissing her mouth. She protested at first, tried to pull away, until Hotch’s tongue brushed across her bottom lip. Emily sighed against him and deepened the kiss. He pulled her closer and George scurried off to find a safer place to sleep. Emily ran her fingers through his hair while Hotch’s hands moved down to caress her hips.

“Oh God,” this time it was Emily who was breathless. This wasn’t happening; it just wasn’t happening. Could it really be happening? “Maybe…”

“Are you going to ask me to leave?” Hotch whispered. It was difficult but he tore his eyes away from her lips and looked in her eyes.

“I don’t want anyone to regret anything in the morning.”

“I understand.”

“I'm not a one-night stand, Hotch.”

“You think I don’t know that? You are…you are the girl our hero falls hard for without even realizing its happening. His whole life is crumbling and all he can do is think about you. He tries to stop, to fix things that are falling apart, but he can do neither. He wants to push you away when you try to console him because he never wants you to think the reason he is with you is that he can't be with someone else. Do you know how hard it is for him to reconcile the pain of what he’s lost with the euphoria of what he can gain?” he stroked her cheekbone with the back of his hand and Emily shivered.

This time she kissed him. It was soft, tentative, as if she weren’t at all sure about what she was doing. Hotch pulled her onto his lap and Emily straddled him, sliding her hands up his chest before moving her arms around his neck. He held tight to her, wanted to prevent her from running away from him. He had nothing to offer her; he was a virtual shell of his former self. She had no reason to feel as he did…Emily Prentiss could have anything, anybody.

“I don’t want to let you go.” He murmured, giving her lips a break and working on her earlobe. The way she whimpered nearly drove Hotch to madness.

“So stay.”

“Stay?”

“We’re not going to make love Hotch, oh God I want to but you're not in the right place. You have more battles to fight and I should not be in the middle.”

“Will you wait for me?” he asked.

“Yes.” Emily nodded. “I've been waiting my whole life.”

“I'm not easy.”

“Tell me about it.” she turned his face to hers, kissing him again. “You are one of the most difficult men I know. Getting to the center of you will be my profoundest happiness.”

“Oh Emily,” he caressed her face. She kissed his nose and he smiled.

There was much more they both wanted to say. Now was not the time. Emily and Hotch both had churning stomachs; afraid morning would shed harsh light on reality. She stood from his lap, turning off the DVD and the television. When she held out her hand for him, Hotch grabbed hold.

They left everything as it was in the living room, a slight mess, which was unlike the both of them. It was the perfect symbolism for the road they were about to travel. Wanting and needing was one thing, achieving another entirely. Fate did not know whom she was dealing with when she finally let Aaron Hotchner have the opportunity to take Emily Prentiss into his arms.

***


End file.
